Confessions of a New Freelance Writer

About eight months ago, I concocted a plan to launch a fabulous career/life as a freelance writer and content strategist. I focused in on my goals, took every freelance opportunity that came my way, started writing more, began laying the foundation of self-employment, and set a date to quit my job.

And then, after 13 years of sitting in an office doing “marketing,” I actually quit.

Confessions of a new freelance writer.

Here’s something about me: I’ve never not had a professional job — unless you count three weeks after I graduated from college and about four weeks after graduate school. I realize that makes me very lucky, but it also means that I’ve been very risk adverse, and quitting my job was not something I did lightly.

I’m not sorry I quit — My career in marketing hasn’t felt right for a long time, and I’ve spent years attempting to determine the next step. At my most recent job, I was teetering on the edge of a precipice — I was unhappy enough for long enough that I knew I was dangerously close to jeopardizing my opportunity to leave on good terms after six years of service that (I’m told) “exceeded expectations.” It was truly time to go. And so I went… on good terms and on my own terms.

It’s been two months.

I have no idea what I’m doing.

I wade through each day unsure of where the hours go.

When I worked in an office the days dragged. In some ways, this is better — I’m not bored — but I’m not actually getting a paycheck for being busy, and I have a feeling that I’ve fallen into a trap of working harder, but not smarter.

So what am I doing? I do have a few client projects each month, but I spend a lot of time applying to freelance or part-time or contract opportunities — emails and applications that apparently disappear into the ether the moment I hit send… Sometimes I start to go down the Elance path, but I don’t even know where to start… I consider, then reconsider, how to market myself and to whom.

I knew it would be like this — I knew it would take time to figure it out; I knew the transition would be rough, but I was so secretly hopeful that everything would just work out and the freelance life would be instantaneously amazing. Here are some of the myths that I let myself believe (while at the same time reminding myself that I shouldn’t believe them). Turns out I should have listened to myself — at least the part of myself that wasn’t coming up with a freelance fantasy:

Myth: If I built it (a website), they (clients) would come.

Last fall, I had three freelance clients and a full-time job, which meant I felt like I was literally working around the clock. With three clients, I reasoned that I had a sufficient foundation and could expect a certain amount of income when I quit my job — then one of my clients closed her business and a few projects didn’t pan out the way I expected. To be fair, I knew this by the time I walked into my supervisor’s office to give my notice, but I figured, hey, everything will fall into place. I’m still waiting for those things to start falling.

Myth: I would immediately lose 10 pounds.

Welcome to the land of magical thinking. Why did I think this? I’ll tell you. I thought that once my pesky job was out of the way, I would spend every morning working on my fitness while sipping an ultra-clean, vitamin-infused, super food smoothie in my suddenly-fitting-again Lululemon yoga pants. I would cook myself every meal, sit down at dining room table, and eat mindfully — never again succumbing to the likes of Chipotle or Panera. All stress would just melt away, along with a few pounds, because, you know, I would be living the dream.

Myth: My house would be clean; my closets organized; and the laundry would be done forever and ever. Amen.

This was part of the point after all — to function better as a family. And to me, functioning better means having a relatively clean and organized home, which is, I have learned, 100 percent impossible unless you LITERALLY spend all day, every day cleaning. The minute I think the laundry is done, my husband’s basket is full again (seriously, why does he need to change four times a day?). As soon as I finish cleaning the house, Emme comes home, pulls out 80 gazillion toys, spills her milk, and manages to smash crackers into the freshly vacuumed rug.

Myth: I would create a work-life balance scenario that worked for our family.

Ah… the myth of “work-life balance.” I thought I would have my day totally figured out with plenty of time for work, household management, and self-care; I would spend quality time with Emme from the time she came home from daycare to the time she went to bed; and then I would relax in the evenings. But mostly, we’re still just trying to survive and get to the next thing. And, I’m still sitting on my couch “working” late into the night. What am I even doing? Just like during the day, I’m not really sure, but nothing about it feels balanced.

None of this is to say I regret my choice, but it will take some time before I get this new life and career figured out. And maybe I won’t. Maybe it’s not the right choice for me — but at this point I’d rather know than be sitting in an office still attempting to make a decision about the next step in my life. At least that part is over.

Also, I would like to point out that I have made dinner more in the last two months than I had in the last two years. Small victories — I’ll take what I can get at this point. 

5 Strategies to Help Overwhelmed Moms Find Balance

As a mom (and maybe as a human being), I feel overwhelmed. And not only am I an overwhelmed mom, I feel like I shouldn’t be — I only have one kid, I work from home, I don’t have to worry about our basic needs being met — which only makes things worse because I become more overwhelmed that something is wrong with me for feeling overwhelmed in the first place.

It’s a vicious cycle perpetuated by mommy guilt, a culture of busy, self-doubt, and the weight of family, social, and/or work obligations. I know I’m not the only overwhelmed mom out there.

Here’s the best way I can describe it: I feel like I am the sun and my family orbits around me. When I walk in the door, before I can put down my car keys, the dog, the toddler and even my husband are coming toward me, blocking my way, wanting attention, jockeying for position.

Maybe I should find joy in moments like this — to be loved so much that all of these people/animals must greet me immediately upon arrival with as much energy as possible — but usually what I feel is overwhelmed. It’s a struggle to get through the door, a struggle to get my coat off, a struggle to keep everyone a few feet away from me so I can start the next necessary task (a meal, a chore, etc.), a struggle to have a moment to collect myself.

I don’t want to struggle. And I don’t want to be a constantly overwhelmed mom.

But I’ve realized that the problem isn’t them, but it’s not necessarily me either. It’s that chaos is a part of life, especially life with young children. And I can’t change that — the fact that I’ve been trying to change the chaos is (at least partially) what makes me feel overwhelmed.

I’m trying to shift my thinking and the way I react. Instead of trying to lessen the chaos, I’ve been looking for strategies that will allow me to function better in and through the chaos. Maybe if you’re an overwhelmed mom, you’ll find these ideas helpful — they cost no money, and most of them take only a few minutes and require minor tweaks to your routine.

Try these five strategies to help you feel more balanced throughout the day. Perfect for overwhelmed moms who feel like they don't have time to center themselves. All of these take less than an hour a day (and some save you time).

Strategy 1: Wake up 30 minutes earlier than your kid(s).

For me, this is HUGE.

In January, our family transitioned to a new routine. Last year, my husband worked the midnight shift, which was hard for many reasons, but when he came home in the morning, he managed getting our daughter dressed and off to daycare, giving me plenty of time and space to get ready for work. Now he’s on the day shift, which means he leaves the house by 6 a.m., while I am at home, attempting to figure out the transition from working full time in an office to starting my own business. It’s up to me to get our daughter out the door in the morning, which should be easy, right? It’s not like I’m on a hard and fast schedule.

I’ve mentioned that the process to get Emme dressed in the morning can be trying. This morning “routine” overwhelmed me; it made me feel anxious and frustrated, and I was struggling to bounce back from getting my day off on the wrong foot. Setting the alarm seemed unnecessary since I knew Emme would wake me up, but I finally convinced myself a few weeks ago that I needed to try to get out of bed before her.

What a difference having a cup of coffee by myself makes. The entire morning dynamic shifted, and not because she changed, but because I have a few minutes to wake up, enjoy my coffee, and relax — not dive in head first with morning toddler drama. But it’s funny, now that I’ve stopped fighting against it, the toddler drama doesn’t seem quite as dramatic.

Strategy 2: Do the thing you are doing even if it’s just for a few minutes.

As a blogger and a freelance writer who is trying to find work, I can easily convince myself that I’m “working” no matter what I’m doing. After all, I’m scanning freelance jobs, posting on Facebook, checking my email, chatting online with a friend, reading an industry blog, researching an article for a client, and updating my resume… all at the same time. Which means literally nothing is getting done.

This multitasking mentality creeps into all facets of my life. I turn on the TV after Emme goes to bed with the intent of watching a television show to unwind, only to sit down with my laptop in hand, screwing around on one million different websites, the TV on in the background. Or I’m trying to manage my daughter while texting with a friend and tackling random tasks (that never end up getting done).

Multitasking is necessary sometimes, but when you can, slow down and do the thing you are doing. Just give the task at hand five minutes of your attention.

Strategy 3: Take a deep breath.

Whenever you need to throughout the day — when you’re starting to feel anxious or frustrated, take a few seconds (just a few seconds!) and breath in. Count for a couple of seconds while you hold your breath and then breath out. Don’t worry, the mess your child is making will be there when you’re done.

Strategy 4: Create boundaries around social media.

Social media is a great way to connect with the world around us and the people we care about, but it is undoubtably a time suck. At worst, it can turn your energy and attention to something that makes you feel angry (your crazy uncle’s extreme political rants), judged (your “friend” who posts articles about how formula is poison), or lacking (all of the happy pictures and status updates that suggest that everyone else is living the perfect life). I don’t know about you, but sometimes social media just makes me feel anxious.

And yet it’s such a habit. I open my Facebook app on my phone without even thinking about it. I don’t even mean to do it, it’s just what I do. Here are some ideas to cut down on your social media time:

  • Try moving the social media apps on your phone every so often they are a little less accessible to you. You can also hide it in a “subfolder” on your iPhone — I can never find the apps I put in subfolders. #problemsolved
  • Change your phone settings so you’re not constantly getting social media notifications.
  • Attempt to keep your social media surfing to a few times a day — maybe once in the morning and once in the afternoon.
  • Let knowledge be your power: You can download the Moment app to see exactly how much time you’re spending on your phone. Though it doesn’t tell you exactly how much of that time is spent on Facebook or other social media apps, this information is still helpful for me because I know a lot of the time I spend zoning out on the phone, I’m scrolling through my Facebook feed. Challenge yourself to decrease that time.
  • Unfollow Facebook friends. You don’t have to unfriend people and make it a whole thing. Go to the profile page of the person who is driving you batty and uncheck “Following” to take that person’s status updates out of your feed.

Strategy 5: Meditate for 10 minutes.

More and more research suggests that meditation really can help relieve anxiety as well as other medical issues. I have been trying to get into the habit of meditating every day. I’d say I manage to do it 5 out of 7 days a week. But when I do take 10 minutes to meditate, I feel less overwhelmed and more balanced throughout the day.

I find if I mediate right before I pick Emme in the afternoon, it has a similar effect as my morning coffee — I’m suddenly much more capable of dealing with post-daycare toddler demands (milk! potty! crackers! Caillou! books! paci! apple! Frozen!), getting dinner on the table, and feeling, you know, content with my life not overwhelmed by it. On the weekends, I try to meditate when Emme takes her nap.

When I decided to try meditation, I wasn’t quite sure where to start. I found Headspace, a website that provides a lot of information about meditation, and I downloaded the free app, which includes ten 10-minute meditations.

So what about you… Are you an overwhelmed mom/parent/person? Do you have any go-to strategies that help you feel more balanced?

An Interview with Abby Brennan, Owner of Brennan Spa | Work Life Mom

One of my many goals with the Work | Life | Mom series is to show a variety of mom-owned businesses, including those that have a real, live storefront. So when I started to think about who I could reach out to, I immediately thought of some of my favorite local businesses in the Chicago western suburbs. Brennan Spa in Brookfield, owned by mom-of-two Abby Brennan, is one of those businesses.

Abby Brennan is the owner of Brennan SpaBrennan Massage and Spa has been open for seven years and is housed in a beautiful 100-year-old home near other shops and restaurants in downtown Brookfield. The upstairs rooms are used for spa treatments, including massages, facials, cranialsacrals, waxing, and more. I have tried several of their services and always have an amazing experience — in fact, after leaving the city and struggling to find a place where I could get a great massage, Brennan’s Spa filled that suburban void for me, and in an adorable space to boot. I was thrilled when Abby — a former art teacher who is warm, funny, creative, and engaging — agreed to be featured as part of the Work | Life | Mom series on Mommy Sanest.

Lou: Tell us about your family.

Abby: My husband is the stay-at-home parent. He also helps at the spa with behind the scenes stuff, like some phone calls, coordinating, and repairs. He’s in charge of the plumber, the carpenter, anybody we have to hire to actually do work, and then he makes sure it happens. He’s home with Harriet, our 3 1/2-year-old who is in preschool part time, five days a week. And then we have Iris who is 10 months.

How did you go from being an art teacher to spa owner?

I was a fine arts teacher at a Chicago Public School. It was mostly classroom management, but we got a lot of artwork done — I figured how to make that happen. I was there for seven years. Emotionally, it was poison, and even though I could positively get through the day, I wanted to make a change. After three years, I started to job hunt, but being an art teacher, there was just nothing. I realized, unless I stay here and become the crabbiest teacher in the world, I knew I was going to be making a career change.

I remember thinking, what would be the most natural thing for me to do; what would be something that would make me really happy? I tried to reflect on what I enjoyed doing as a child because I feel like at that time, you’re connected to what brings you pure joy. This is crazy, but playing in the dirt brought me and my bother and sister lots of joy. So I thought I would be extremely happy doing something with gardening or anthropology. But when I thought more about it, I realized that would mean going back to college, and there was no way I would go back to college.

My second idea was about these dreams I used to have. I had them every night for years; they probably didn’t stop until I was in high school. My dreams were of these glowing hands, and they would go through everybody in my family’s body and heal them. I never even told people about that until I realized why I opened up the business. I remember thinking about energy and healing, so something with Reiki or healing touch. But I was worried about whether or not that would be a sufficient income, so I thought, I can move into energy work, but I’ll start with massage. So I signed up for massage school and just kept going. And now Brennan Spa has been in business for seven years.

Can you talk about the process of opening Brennan Spa?

I finished massage school, and it was time to look for a space. I had worked at a few spas and for a physical therapist, so I had two years of experience in the industry. I knew I wanted my own space, and I always envisioned owning a business in a home.

I was living in Chicago, but I didn’t want to open a business in the city — I don’t want to compete with that. So I drove to all these neighborhoods during my school spring break. I just spent a week exploring and looking for either a rental or an opportunity to buy.

Brookfield was the last place I looked. I was driving down Grand Blvd., and I saw this for sale sign falling out of the bushes, so I jumped out of the car and thought, “If this is zoned for a business, I’ll buy it,” before I even walked in the door. I called the realtor and asked, “What is this zone?” and she said, “Mixed use.”

I had to get the business code changed, which took six months. I had to make presentations to the Village of Brookfield and get the community to vote for whether I could just do massage. They said, “If you want to open up a hair salon you can do massage in the back,” but it’s against code to just do massage because the code was written in the 1940s. The village was all for it, but I had to go through the formality of changing the code. So the minute they changed it, I called the realtor and started bidding on the house.

The whole time, I’m teaching and in business classes through the Hull House. The Hull House was a not-for-profit that had free classes on everything, but they also had a solid business course for eight weeks taught by a professional. That’s how I created my business plan. [Note from Lou: The Hull House closed in 2012.]

So, I bought the spa in May 2007. As soon as I got the keys, we started the work. I did a little work while school was still going and then worked the whole summer. My husband and I got married in August 2007, and Brennan Spa opened January 2, 2008.

I was still teaching then, but the spa didn’t open until 4pm during the week. I would teach all morning, then I would put the petal to metal and fly out here to open the spa. I’d stay until 9, then I would wake up and go teach again. I did that until the end of the school year 2008. At that point, I thought, “I can make this work,” so I quit teaching.

photos of Brennan's Spa

Most small businesses need time to turn a profit. In addition to teaching the first year the business was open, how else did you plan for the uncertainties of opening a business?

We were really budgeted — that’s why I kept teaching that first year, so we had income. But I think we did everything just right with the spa. We started slowly and small. We only used the first floor. When I quit my job, we rented out our house, and we lived here. So we lived upstairs for two years to see if we could make any money.

How did you and your husband decide that he would be the stay-at-home parent?

He was a landscape architect and when the economy tanked, his boss closed their company in 2010. Then, when our oldest daughter was a year and a half, he got a job working for another big architecture firm. We had heard unpleasant things about the work environment, but we thought, maybe he could take it. But it was terrible and making him sick. We decided that he should just leave, stay home with Harriet, and we’ll figure it out. And it’s been fine.

How do you and your partner balance household management with your business?

Right now, I don’t think there’s any balance. It’s just trying to get through. I make sure things keep going at the spa. And then he does everything at home. I do put together the grocery list, but he does all the laundry, all the cleaning, all the cooking. If I can, I do it too. I don’t have a problem doing it. It’s just normally I don’t have time.

How many hours a week do you work?

Our receptionist is here about 20 hours a week, so I’m here the other 45 hours that we’re open. But it goes beyond just that — it doesn’t end at 45. There’s events and after-hours planning. Sometimes I have to sneak away just so I can think. My marketing intern and I are headed to the library because I can get a lot more work done there. So all in all, with my staff’s help, I’m up to about 55 hours a week.

How did you handle taking a maternity leave?

With Harriet, I was able to take a good nine months off because I had two people running the spa. I had a lot of time to be with Harriet when she was little, but then it shifted so I needed to get back in full time. Since then, it’s just been full time, overtime, double-time, quadruple-time. When Iris was born, my receptionist had left, so I was definitely on 80 hours a week. It was crazy. That’s why sometimes I look at Iris, and I’m like, “You’re pretty cute, but I don’t know how we got here.”

Are you passionate about what you’re doing, and how does the reality of owning Brennan Spa fit with the picture you had in your mind when you were sitting in your apartment contemplating your path 10 years ago?

It totally works. I feel blessed that I paid attention to, I guess what you would consider pure joy, and making that work as a career. People don’t get that luxury, or they don’t realize that that could be an option — thinking back to what they loved as a kid. I feel completely satisfied. I’ll probably be doing this the next 30 years until I retire, as long as I can keep it going. But I’ve also figured out that, in the future, if I need to downsize and make it work as a smaller business that would be fine. I don’t have an interest in too much expansion. I don’t want to be too big because I want to keep things under my guidance.

Part of taking on all the responsibility of a small business owner is loving what you do, but you also have to be business-minded. Do you feel like those two things are ever in opposition?

Luckily for me, I feel like some of that came naturally. I learned a lot about being business-minded by running a classroom. People ask me all the time, “Did you take business classes; did you take marketing classes?” No. The business classes I took were at the Hull House and then, running a classroom. I think being fair and professional — a teaching career will ingrain that into you. I always want things to feel really positive around here with my staff. I think they feel that way. We have a lot of fun, and I don’t let the small things really stress me out. There are tweaks here and there that we have to make so that we continue to do our best work. I always make an extra effort to be professional, but we can still have fun and be goofy. I have a friendly relationship with my team and with customers, but there are boundaries.

How did becoming a mom changed your ambition or how you work?

It’s definitely made me more protective of my time because I don’t get to see my kids as much, so that has become a priority. The time that I’m at the spa, I try to manage it the best I can so that I don’t have to bring work home. If I’m working I work, if I’m playing, I play. It’s also made me want to work harder, and those boundaries with customers, that’s a bit more important to me because family is what matters first.

If you could change one thing about your current situation to provide your family with more balance, what would be it be?

Where we’re at right now, things are really good, at home and here, minus not seeing them as much as I would like, but I have to work, so there’s no way around it. I keep trying to force my husband to hire a babysitter. He needs a babysitter at the house every once in awhile. So today is a Wednesday, so I’m here from 9:30am to 9pm, so he should have a babysitter come and help him. He needs a break.

As a mom to two girls, how important to you is the example your setting as a business owner?

It is important to me. Suze Orman, the personal finance adviser, said something that stuck with me. It was, “Don’t whine and complain about going to work in front of your kids, it’s going to make them think that work is a bad thing.” So even if you don’t like your job, you don’t voice that in front of your kids because whatever their experience could be, you want them to feel like working is a positive thing. Your kids want to see mommy loving her job. So even though it’s hard, I do say, “Mommy loves to work, I have to go.” I keep the attitude that somebody has to do it, and I like working.

Do you have any advice for moms who want to start businesses?

Get a babysitter or childcare because starting a business is like having two full-time jobs. Once you’re up and running, you can create more of a balance with your time. But to open a business and you’re a mom, you’ve got to hire a babysitter. You have to be like, I have that person for three hours, so for three hours, I’m working solid, there are no breaks. You also need willpower and motivation. I know that seems mundane. You have to take it seriously, and you have to make it professional. If you need a designer get a designer; if you need a realtor get a realtor. Get your paperwork and finances in a row, and don’t cut any corners. It’s never worth taking the easy way out.

A big thank you to Abby Brennan of Brennan Spa for giving us a glimpse into her busy life as a small business owner and mom to two young girls. If you’re in the Chicago-area, check out their website, sign up for their mailing list, and like their Facebook page so you don’t miss any of their great monthly promotions or sales.

Want more working mom inspiration? Check out the first interview in the Work | Life | Mom series with Sara Sutton Fell, CEO of Flexjobs.

An Interview with Sara Sutton Fell, CEO of FlexJobs | Work Life Mom

Let’s talk for a minute about how awesome the Internet is. Last month, when I wrote about the pitfalls of flexible work arrangements, it happened to catch the eye of FlexJob’s PR manager who reached out to me about the post. After a few emails and with my Work | Life | Mom series on my mind, I decided to ask if Sara Sutton Fell, FlexJob’s founder and CEO as well as a mom of two, would consider being profiled on Mommy Sanest.

I assumed it was a long shot, but they pretty much immediately said yes, to which I responded: o_O (because nothing says professional like an emoticon).
Sara Sutton Fell, Founder and CEO of Flexjobs | Work Life Mom
If you’re not familiar with Sara Sutton Fell’s story, it’s a good one. An entrepreneur from a young age, Sara started a company in college called Job Direct, which she and her co-founder sold in 2000. Sara went on to other professional endeavors, but in 2007, she found herself looking for work that would allow her to have a flexible schedule.

Did I mention that Sara was pregnant at the time?

When she struggled to find legitimate flexible work, she did what any pregnant woman would do: She started a company that would solve this dilemma for job seekers by connecting them to real companies offering professional opportunities with flexible work benefits.

FlexJobs was born.

I’ve actually been a member of FlexJobs since last year, and now that I’ve quit my full-time marketing position, I plan to actively use the site to find contract and project work. I highly recommend that anyone looking for telecommuting, part-time, short-term, or contract positions check out the site.

As for Sara, she thoughtfully and thoroughly answered my questions about her family and work life, how she balances it all, and what advice she has for those of you seeking flexible work arrangements. I couldn’t have hoped for a better profile to kick off my Work | Life | Mom series.

Sara Sutton Fell, Found and CEO of FlexJobs talks motherhood, ambition, and how to talk to your supervisor about flexible work options.

Lou: Tell us about your family.

Sara Sutton Fell: I’m a proud mom to two young boys, Harrison and Palmer. While I work from home, my husband works outside of the house, but I have our chocolate lab Derby to keep me company in my home office.

You started Flexjobs when you were pregnant because you couldn’t find flexible work opportunities and kept running into scams. What were some of the challenges of starting a company while pregnant? Were there benefits to this timing?

I often joke that I wouldn’t necessarily recommend someone start a company when they’re pregnant! Probably the biggest benefit to this timing was that it proved that FlexJobs must be a REALLY good idea, because I kept with it even through all the sleepless nights and stress that being a new mom brings along. The challenges were exactly what you’d think–trying to balance my time between a newborn and a new company, all while giving myself a little time, too. Luckily I had tremendous help from my husband and my own mom, which made it all possible. Easy? No. Possible? Yes.

What makes FlexJobs different than other job search websites?

FlexJobs isn’t your typical job search website because we don’t feature any advertising or other clutter on our site. Instead, FlexJobs members are greeted with a clean, ad-free, scam-free, screened database of flexible jobs. In exchange for our 100% commitment to, and focus on, job seekers, we ask for a small monthly or yearly fee from our users. It’s not typical to charge job seekers as a job board, but we truly believe — and have proven through our success — that we’re able to provide a better job experience because of it. FlexJobs aims to make job searching easier, faster, and safer for job seekers.

Another big difference is that we have a client services team for our job seekers. Monday through Friday, job seekers can call, email, or chat with our client services team, ask questions, and get help with their job search questions. It’s not often with any service today that you can call and speak to a human being with no hassle!

What flexible benefits do you offer your employees, and do you take advantage of these benefits as the CEO?

We offer pretty much every type of flexibility you can imagine. All of our 53 staffers work from home, and the vast majority have flexible schedules and can set their own hours (except client services, which needs to operate on a set schedule). We offer full-time and part-time roles, and hire for freelance contracts. I definitely take advantage of our flexible work options! I work from home myself, and while I keep fairly regular business hours, I don’t feel guilty switching up my schedule to care for sick kiddos, or attend to other family and life issues. And our staff know that they are free to do the same!

Can you describe your “typical” work day?

Most days I work from around 9am to around 6pm, from the converted office above our garage. Earlier in the morning, I’m able to help our kids get ready for school and drop them off. When the weather is nice, I’ll get out for a bike ride, and I attend a weekly yoga class. And I’m lucky enough to work from home, so during the growing season, I can make a fresh salad from our veggie garden for lunch. But, as I mentioned, I feel able to switch up that schedule to meet the needs of the day, both for work and for life. I might have an early morning interview with a local TV station, or take a break in the afternoon to attend my sons’ school activities. I know I can shift my hours to later in the evening to make up the difference.

How do you and your partner manage childcare?

We have a great team of babysitters to help us when our kids aren’t in school. When they were very young, before they were in school full-time, our sitters did a great job of caring for them while my husband and I worked. We also take full advantage of summer camps. My advice for anyone with young children is to have multiple childcare options in case something falls through. Trying to work from home and watch your kids at the same time simply isn’t fair, for your kids or your job.

How do you and your partner manage the “business” of running a household?

Google calendar! We have a color-coded shared calendar that, to anyone else, probably looks like a child’s art project more than a method of running a household, but it works really well for us. We each have our own calendar, and share items with each other to stay on track. I’m happy to say that we definitely share the load when it comes to chores, cooking, etc. We work really well as a team.

If you could change one thing about how you balance work with other areas of your life, what would be?

Overall, things work really well for us. Especially because I really see work-life balance as just that — a balancing act that will tip back and forth depending on the needs of the day. The key is to not let things tip too far in one direction or the other. I’m probably not the only one who struggles with this, but I’d love to be better at the ability to let the little things go. There’s always going to be that one last toy that needs to be picked up, or that one last email that needs to be sent, but I often remind myself that if it’s not critical, it can be let go.

Finding a job with significant flexibility often means giving something up—whether it be taking a pay cut or giving up career advancement momentum. Do you think it’s possible to keep a career on track and find the flexibility you need, or do you always have to give something up?

Yes! There are so many surveys that show what people would give up to get more work flexibility, but I try to show people that you don’t need to give things up! One of the biggest misconceptions is that telecommuting jobs pay less than in-office jobs, but from the research we’ve done, we’ve found that’s not the case. Salaries for telecommuting and office jobs are right in line with one other (accounting for the industry, location, experience level, etc.).

One of the keys to keeping your career on track with a flexible job is to be proactive with your manager. Don’t wait for them to contact you–reach out and show them what you’re working on. Because you’re a bit separated from them, physically, you need to proactively communicate your value to the company rather than waiting to be recognized. Doing this regularly will help keep your career on track regardless of where or when you work.

You’re a successful entrepreneur, having started a business before you even graduated from college. Other than starting Flexjobs as an answer to finding legitimate flexible work, did motherhood change your career ambitions or how you view work?

It didn’t change my ambition, but it certainly changed how I wanted to work. Becoming a mother made me realize how vital work-life balance is to a healthy and happy life. I still want to be professionally active, and it’s become really important for me to show my two boys that a mom can have a successful career just like a dad can. I love work, but having a family also showed me that to continue loving work, you need to balance it with other obligations and fun things in life!

Why do you think some companies are hesitant to offer flexible work arrangements? Do you have advice for employees who want to talk to their supervisors about considering these options?

There’s a bit of the fear of the unknown. Managers are used to seeing employees at work, but with telecommuting and other flexible work arrangements, you have to change up your management strategies to rely less on seeing employees, and more on understanding exactly what they’re working on regularly. If you want to talk to your supervisor about flexible work options, I highly recommend planning your proposal in advance. Be sure to demonstrate all the ways flexible work benefits your manager and the company (you’ll be more productive, you’ll require less real estate and office equipment, you’ll take fewer sick days, etc.). And give them a clear picture of where, when, and how you’ll be working. Tell them about your well-equipped home office, schedule a regular weekly call to go over your projects, and promise to email them every day with status updates on your work. The more you can do to assuage their fears, the more receptive they’ll be.

A big thank you to Sara Sutton Fell as well as Kathy Gardner, PR Manager at FlexJobs.

You might also be interested in checking out the next interview in the Work | Life | Mom series with Abby Brennan, Owner of Brennan Spa.

Moms Who Work

We made it! Twenty fifteen is here, and I’m already beyond on my content calendar.

Since I started Mommy Sanest, I knew the “mommy blog” space was relatively crowded (#understatement). I wanted to do it anyway, but I also wanted to find a niche that felt like the right fit for this blog. And while I am not about to abandon general parenting topics or personal essays — I like that stuff — I want spend a little more time discussing moms and work.

I’ve decided that the whole stay-at-home vs. working mom thing is a red herring. It’s good for headlines and makes for feisty debates in the comments sections of The Huffington Post and Jezebel. But the Internet spends a lot of time pointing fingers and judging everyone else’s choices… probably because no one feels totally comfortable with the ones they’ve made. It’s a distraction.

Here’s the thing, I don’t know any moms who don’t work. Some do unpaid work, taking on the lion’s share of childcare and home management responsibilities. Some stay in the more traditional workforce. Some do side projects or freelance work during nap times, in the evenings, and on weekends. Others start their own businesses.

Moms who work: Presenting the Work Life Mom series on Mommy Sanest

I’d like to to talk about the different choices moms make with regard to paid and unpaid work, the ins and outs of going back to an office job after having a baby, the policies and politics that make balancing careers with family life more difficult or more doable, and how motherhood doesn’t have to be a fork in the road where you either off-ramp or step on the gas, but rather, how it can be a time to reassess and re-imagine.

As part of the discussion, I will be profiling moms who work. I’m planning to divide the year into three parts. The first part of the series will profile moms who own businesses. The second part will look at moms who take on freelance, project, and/or part-time consulting work. And the third part will profile moms in more “traditional” work roles. The series will kick off with a profile of — and I think this is especially apt — founder and CEO Sara Sutton Fell. If you’re not familiar with Flexjobs, it’s an awesome website where job seekers can search for and find legitimate flexible work. Sara actually started the company when she was pregnant, but you’ll hear more about that later this week.

I hope you guys dig this stuff. I legitimately believe that changing the way we work so that all people, including moms, dads, and caretakers, can better balance the demands of home and career is quite possibly the legacy that late-Gen-Xers and early-Millennials will leave the next generation of American professionals. That’s my hope anyway. Probably too lofty a goal for this lil’ blog, but I’m excited to contribute to the conversation.

Moms Who Work: Check Out Profiles in the Work | Life | Mom series

An Interview with Sara Sutton Fell, CEO of Flexjobs
An Interview with Abby Brennan, Owner of Brennan Spa